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Where are all the attractive people on dating sites?

Updated on June 19, 2013

The Twilight Zone of Attraction: Online Dating Sites

I'm not expecting Channing Tatum, but can they at least not look like Quasimoto?
I'm not expecting Channing Tatum, but can they at least not look like Quasimoto? | Source
Me after a few weeks of browsing online profiles.
Me after a few weeks of browsing online profiles. | Source
Me after I give up looking at online dating.
Me after I give up looking at online dating. | Source

Online dating: the black hole of being single?

Now, I don't know if I'm just too critical about attractive people, but I've heard many disgruntled opinions (both male and female) when it comes to choices on dating sites. Mind you, I'm also an artist and have an eye for beauty, but online dating just whips out the "ew" factor.

And I've come to the conclusion that they (online dating sites) are a mecca for people who can't make meaningful connections in real life. Or, in other words, the "last resort" for unsuccessful daters. Very unofficially... more "unattractive" people.

Now don't get me wrong, there are always exceptions to every rule. I, too, am online (albeit on a free site, so my views are skewed) and have first hand experience of this. My usual chain of events goes like this: I open my account (bright-eyed and cheery), get lots of feedback immediately (yay for instant gratification!), then I weed through all my "best matches".... that's when my cheery face turns to a frown.


People meet in real life-- I know because it happens all the time. It even happened to me!


Here's the thing: I'm not shy anymore and have no problem talking in public. I can go to bars by myself and make several new friends in one night (some even turn into prospects). I consider myself above average in looks-- but only because many guys have convinced me of this (I still don't get it). I've even been told that guys won't approach me because I'm not average enough (want to read about it? Here's what a girl needs to be asked out).

When I'm out in real life, I get guys decades younger hitting on me. One sweet young thing once commented, "I thought you were the prettiest chick in the bar." Bless his young heart-- and he's quite the looker, I might add.


Disparity of online dating: FBI's Most Wanted Looking For YOU!


Then when I go on these dating sites, I see the kind of men who check me out and I can't help but cringe. Seriously, I've seen more attractive men going to a local Walmart and think to myself, "why aren't the prospects on dating sites at least as attractive?" Shoot, I have cuter men working with me at my job whom also flirt with me. Maybe I should ignore the "rules" and go for it?

I know this sounds shallow and I'm trying to keep an open mind but shoot, you can't have any meaningful connection without chemistry-- that "spark" that you feel when you're at least somewhat physically attracted to your mate.

With online dating, I often feel like I'm browsing FBI's Most Wanted mugshots.... I kid you not. After about three weeks of seeing the same faces and feeling hopeless, I come to the point where I'd rather NOT look any more.

There's only so much I can take before I become jaded about finding love online.


Try meeting in person, now and always... you'll thank yourself later.


Might I say I'm a starch believer in meeting people the old fashioned way? And beyond that, I think people should still talk in person or over the phone rather than message online or over text messages. There's something to be said about the good old days before the internet and cell phones took our brains away from making meaningful connections in real life.

Yeah, I think I'll stop going online again. Nothing has changed much. I see the same (unattractive) men on there that were "fishing" about a year ago. Of all the time I spent back when, I only met a handful of guys for every hundred hours I wasted. Not too smart, right?


Little red hand no more.


Thank goodness I'm not obsessed with being in a relationship (although, I might be a bit jaded about the whole dating thing-- thanks to online dating sites!). There are always guys around paying me attention (which I love). As Doris Day would say, "Kay-Sara, Sara."

If and when a connection will happen, I won't sweat it. For now I'm too happy being unattached, single and independent. For all you others out there, I'd love to hear your take on dating sites. I know a certain someone that swears by them (although he met his "beloved" on Facebook which is NOT really a dating site).

By all means, I don't want to distress anyone from meeting their perfect match through a dating site. I merely want to point out that when it comes to finding love, dating sites might not provide the pot of gold you might be hoping for.



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